July 2011
1 post
June 2011
2 posts
May 2011
2 posts
“Courage is the thing that makes us free.”
-Rick Derringer
I Am A Real...”
April 2011
1 post
Foot in the Mouth
I was on an airplane to Memphis this morning when an older gentleman sporting an eye patch got on after me. It reminded me of a time not too long ago…
The year was 2006, and I was a senior in college. Being terrified/unable to provide myself with adequate nutrition daily, I was well on my way to setting the Mizzou record with 8 full semesters of the 17-squares-a-week meal plan.
Something...
February 2011
7 posts
“Attention all employees: A reminder that the office will remain closed until...”
– * an announcement over the intercom at Matt’s office on Friday afternoon in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
* He’s betting Steelers +2.5, over 44.5. He kept that a secret.
“They just said Americans need to leave Egypt ASAP. What were they doing two...”
– * Matt’s cousin Mike
January 2011
11 posts
December 2010
12 posts
“Hello.”
“Hello Lucy.”
“Lucy.”
“Yes, your...”
– * My brother, veterinarian Dr. Jeffrey Mitchell, has a conversation with a parrot.
October 2010
7 posts
September 2010
44 posts
Wolverine Style Beards
Using web analytics software, I have long known that nearly every single day at least two or three people, from countries all over the planet Earth, stumble upon this blog because it appears in Google searches of “Wolverine Beard,” “Wolverine Style Beards,” and the like. Today’s two unwitting visitors were from India and Mexico.
I’d offer these individuals a...